she had it coming
i was talking to one of my floormates today and she was feeling really homesick this past week. she was telling me how she called her mom everyday and she was crying because she wanted to be home so badly... and i simply couldn't relate. i tried really hard to imagine being that homesick... the only way i could feel something as close to what she was describing was when i remember the way sometimes i just ache. for no apparent reason. and i fiddle around on my computer to try to make it go away... and i pick at things in my room... i try to distract myself by walking around... and the aching persists. only, im not exactly sure what i ache for. im pretty sure its not home... this feels like home to me. i think sometimes its just a lonely ache. im sure you know the kind... the only way to describe it is lonely. not the lonely that we are most used to using... im not alone here at all. and i don't feel like i dont have handfulls of people that are there for me. i do. but this is not what the ache is about. ive been going to bed with this ache these past two nights... often other nights as well.

its pretty poo crap.