if only they knew
sometimes i think people under-estimate my levels of insanity. that's right. like right now. above me... a sweet boy named ben is blasting snoop doggy dogg so loud that i am forced to get my groove on instead of reading about liberal feminism. now, i like a good groove as much as the next white, middle-class girl does... but i am starting to get annoyed. here is where he underestimates me. little does he know that i am down here plotting a way to shoot him in the face. i have no gun. but i am sure i can construct some sort of face-shooter from the random articles strewn across my room.

idea #1 - incense. i could burn his eyes out. not quite the same as shooting though
idea #2 - i could go upstairs and request that he turns up his music so that his room explodes. again, this is not exactly the same as shooting him in the face.
idea #3 - i could steal some extra peas from the cafeteria and follow him around all day tomorrow throwing peas at him, one at a time. i will not say anything and his protests and laughter will not affect me in the least. this last one seems like the best alternative to a gunshot to the face. besides, no one eats those peas anyways. the bonus to this is i get to improve my pea-shooting skills and maybe over time, i can get so good that a peashot from me will infact feel like a bullet to the face. good call me.