forever young.
so i cant figure out whether im coming or going. i worked all weekend. good and bad. i really like who i work with. REALLY. the staff is all so sweet and i really feel like i fit in there. the managers are super cool and seem to like me. it feels like im doing a good job there... and im appreciated and all that... so its gonna suck when i have to break it to them that im going back to mcgill in september. its weird because this job actually feels like it could get me good connections in the service industry... and i could even move up from where i am now... so it sucks. i actually kinda LIKE being at work... the 9 hours go by pretty damn fast usually. which is nice. but then i get worried. i always worry when i look forward to going to work. it seems that work is supposed to be something to dread. and if you dont dread work... then you must be going there to run away from some other part of your life. because at work... i stop thinking about stupid things... about problems... about myself basically. and its nice. i can just get into the groove and shake my money maker. so is it ok to like work? or does it mean that im using work to escape from other things? hmmm? maybe i just need to learn that its ok to like your job. because i really want to like my jobs guilt free.

and goddammit how hard is it to email someone!? someone you supposedly care about? goddamnhellassmotherfucker. ya.