oh so regal
it feels like i'm missing out on the things that perhaps i would have wanted to be involved in... say last year. but i'm surprisingly ok about it. i'm the kind of person that hates to feel left out. i don't like to miss things... even the stupid, boring things. but i'm not minding as much as i thought i would. could this be me growing? expanding... or... gasp... changing? i don't know. i always wish i could pinpoint the exact moment that some sort of change happens inside of me. because there has to be a moment that signifies the end of something and the beginning of something else. even in gradual processes, there is always "the moment" where the transformation is complete. but the moment always eludes me.

or perhaps all i'm really doing is simply standing still with wide-eyes as all the colours spin round and round. i reach out my hands to grasp things and stuff my pockets with as many colours as i can... and all the while i am so fascinated by the patterns, the perfumes, the energy, and the gentle humming as they spin at topspeeds over my whole body, that i've forgotten to move.

a lot of the time i don't even understand my posts.