and i
settling in
finding my headspace
giggling through soccer fields
trying to just be again
not sure
of what im doing
school is a front
for what is happening here
wishing i knew
why i felt this or that (why i care what i feel at all)
you've stopped missing me (im sure. but its ok.)
booty call yourself
thats not what i want
i dont like the games (im no good at being a girl)
i try. (im lazy)
i wouldnt know how to start over
im trying to just be
or im trying to figure out how to be (without you)
and theres this void that
i want to quickly fill
and im looking around
but i know
it doesnt work like that (i know.)
so im torn between missing you
wanting a quick replacement (because that's all it would be)
and figuring out if its possible (right now) to just
be me