and in the dark we will take off our clothes
i miss being naked infront of someone. somehow being naked alone just isn't the same. i need the validation that i am actually naked. i need someone else to see it. to validate me. to assure me of my material self. that my body is there. i need to be around someone and feel ashamed again. i need to feel vulnerable and pale and fat and skinny and imperfect and beautiful and different and watched. i want to wish the lights were off and i want to hide myself as subtly as possible. i want to pretend im comfortable. i want to remember what it was like when i did feel comfortable. i want eyes on me. assuring me that my body is here. that it is something to look at. not just something that allows me to move and breath and live. i want to see it... me... through someone else's eyes again.