it seems to me that maybe... it pretty much always means no
and sometimes i need to lock my door. and have a cry. sometimes i will. i might also be craving my mom. a hug from her. maybe. i am feeling drained. maybe i am confused. i am sad. maybe. i dont want to grow up. i dont want to make the choices that it feels i have to. i dont like that i have to make certain choices. when all i want sometimes is to have it all figured out. i keep thinking that "if" something were so... "if" i were different in this way... then perhaps things would be different. perhaps i wouldn't be here like this right now...
curled up in my chair.
tears drying on my face.
tired.