cocoon
"Okay, consider this. Say you're going to go on a long trip with someone by car. And the two of you will take turns driving. Which type of person would you choose? One who's a good driver but inattentive, or an attentive person who's not such a good driver?"
~ Murakami, Sputnik Sweatheart
that's my type. some people may describe my type as quirky... or arty... or musical. but its just that these characteristics often come WITH my type. my type often is one of those... but they aren't necessarily signs of my type. my type is the latter one described in the quote above. the attentive ones. the ones that often look a little out of place... the ones that are often awkward... the ones that yes, bumble around. the ones that are a little nerdy, a lot confused, but are always aware. they have to be aware. constantly looking, asking, thinking. and i don't mean to describe these people as crazies. they don't always look so extremely nerdy. but they... well, they are ok with being vulnerable. they can give up some sense of control. they would rather not pretend to be fully in control in the first place. and sure, sometimes i swoon over the good drivers. the ones that have it all together... because for a bumbler like myself, there is something incredibly attractive in someone who is put together. but essentially, the ones that are put together or even the ones that try to appear to be put together... don't really do it for me. i like to watch people bumble. it makes me giggle. someone who is attentive... aware... who may drive a little crooked but can describe every crack in the road... and make up a story about each one... these are the people for me.
and maybe "good drivers" are this mythical norm that don't actually exist. but i'm not so sure. i've met good drivers. and while they don't always have everything together, they pretend they do. they grip the steering wheel and will the car to do what they want. they roll up their windows and keep their eyes on the road. intent on their mission. a mission that they often have not thought through... but questioning this mission only angers them. these are the people i've met that drive well.
but maybe there isn't such a sharp dichotomy. and it's more of a continuum. i agree. i agree. but it does seem sometimes that being a good driver conflicts with being attentive. being attentive just takes up so much energy.
and maybe this is also the problem with the ones i like. it's hard to be attentive and keep on the road at the same time.
maybe two bad drivers should not road trip together.
or maybe i should leave the cocoon i have made my room. bundled under my covers, listening to soft music and contemplating love. pay no attention to me... i'm not quite stable today.
..."and the world may belong for you... but it'll never belong to you..."
"Okay, consider this. Say you're going to go on a long trip with someone by car. And the two of you will take turns driving. Which type of person would you choose? One who's a good driver but inattentive, or an attentive person who's not such a good driver?"
~ Murakami, Sputnik Sweatheart
that's my type. some people may describe my type as quirky... or arty... or musical. but its just that these characteristics often come WITH my type. my type often is one of those... but they aren't necessarily signs of my type. my type is the latter one described in the quote above. the attentive ones. the ones that often look a little out of place... the ones that are often awkward... the ones that yes, bumble around. the ones that are a little nerdy, a lot confused, but are always aware. they have to be aware. constantly looking, asking, thinking. and i don't mean to describe these people as crazies. they don't always look so extremely nerdy. but they... well, they are ok with being vulnerable. they can give up some sense of control. they would rather not pretend to be fully in control in the first place. and sure, sometimes i swoon over the good drivers. the ones that have it all together... because for a bumbler like myself, there is something incredibly attractive in someone who is put together. but essentially, the ones that are put together or even the ones that try to appear to be put together... don't really do it for me. i like to watch people bumble. it makes me giggle. someone who is attentive... aware... who may drive a little crooked but can describe every crack in the road... and make up a story about each one... these are the people for me.
and maybe "good drivers" are this mythical norm that don't actually exist. but i'm not so sure. i've met good drivers. and while they don't always have everything together, they pretend they do. they grip the steering wheel and will the car to do what they want. they roll up their windows and keep their eyes on the road. intent on their mission. a mission that they often have not thought through... but questioning this mission only angers them. these are the people i've met that drive well.
but maybe there isn't such a sharp dichotomy. and it's more of a continuum. i agree. i agree. but it does seem sometimes that being a good driver conflicts with being attentive. being attentive just takes up so much energy.
and maybe this is also the problem with the ones i like. it's hard to be attentive and keep on the road at the same time.
maybe two bad drivers should not road trip together.
or maybe i should leave the cocoon i have made my room. bundled under my covers, listening to soft music and contemplating love. pay no attention to me... i'm not quite stable today.
..."and the world may belong for you... but it'll never belong to you..."
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