meet me down at the lake.
so hey. december 8th is officially the day to celebrate the immaculate conception. i noticed this as i was flipping through my calendar peeking at all the assignments that have to be done in the coming months. thats when december 8th's importance jumped out at me. how is it that growing up in catholic school, we never celebrated this? possibly because the very idea of celebrating something sorta sexual would have been evil evil evil. or at the very least, sorta difficult. catholocism has a history of having a hard time talking about any sort of details about conception period... never mind the mess of having to explain an immaculate version to a bunch of kids. perhaps because it would have become twisted in our heads to a celebration of god "doing" mary. maybe because after pointing this date out to my roomie yesterday she decided she wanted to be the immaculate conception for halloween, and carry around a dildo labelled "god."
i of course have marked it down... as a day where i must have sex. i figure it is the only proper way to celebrate. my roomie suggested we all cheers our birth control pills that morning.
and then a frightening thought struck me.
"i don't think birth control pills protect you from immaculate conception."
"i guess they wouldn't, would they?"
"those bitches. they should really put that on the label. wait! i get it... that damn 0.02%!!! its saved for immaculate conception. 99.98% effective... 0.02% chance of immaculate conception."
genius.
i'm not going to lie and pretend that at some point in my life... i didn't lived in fear that god might impregnate me. you can stop laughing. i swear. there was a time where i was freaked right the fuck out that some glowing angel was going to trumpet into my little suburban room and announce that i was now pregnant. i am pretty sure though that this is a fear i will never again be plagued by. i'm almost positive that saying goodbye to virginity also meant saying goodbye to the possibility of bearing a deity. god doesn't like sloppy seconds.
so hey. december 8th is officially the day to celebrate the immaculate conception. i noticed this as i was flipping through my calendar peeking at all the assignments that have to be done in the coming months. thats when december 8th's importance jumped out at me. how is it that growing up in catholic school, we never celebrated this? possibly because the very idea of celebrating something sorta sexual would have been evil evil evil. or at the very least, sorta difficult. catholocism has a history of having a hard time talking about any sort of details about conception period... never mind the mess of having to explain an immaculate version to a bunch of kids. perhaps because it would have become twisted in our heads to a celebration of god "doing" mary. maybe because after pointing this date out to my roomie yesterday she decided she wanted to be the immaculate conception for halloween, and carry around a dildo labelled "god."
i of course have marked it down... as a day where i must have sex. i figure it is the only proper way to celebrate. my roomie suggested we all cheers our birth control pills that morning.
and then a frightening thought struck me.
"i don't think birth control pills protect you from immaculate conception."
"i guess they wouldn't, would they?"
"those bitches. they should really put that on the label. wait! i get it... that damn 0.02%!!! its saved for immaculate conception. 99.98% effective... 0.02% chance of immaculate conception."
genius.
i'm not going to lie and pretend that at some point in my life... i didn't lived in fear that god might impregnate me. you can stop laughing. i swear. there was a time where i was freaked right the fuck out that some glowing angel was going to trumpet into my little suburban room and announce that i was now pregnant. i am pretty sure though that this is a fear i will never again be plagued by. i'm almost positive that saying goodbye to virginity also meant saying goodbye to the possibility of bearing a deity. god doesn't like sloppy seconds.
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