bonjour.
well... who am i? i don't even know anymore. lol. how is it that some things happen at perfect times... and other things happen and leave you wondering what could have been... if only... and what happens when both these situations occur at the same time? it takes time to realize things that you had been pushing to the back of your mind for perhaps months. perhaps longer. who knows. it takes closure to finally decide to move on. timing was right and its easier than i thought.

who knew i could become that intimate with someone so quickly... who knew i could be that comfortable with someone who was a stranger a couple of weeks ago. someone i didnt look twice at. how is it that it happened at the exact time i needed it to? without me even realizing exactly how much i wanted something like this. and then getting to wallow in the questions... the unspoken sentences. a part of me likes it that way... it just happened. and there is barely anything else left to say. we never talked about it in detail... we just went with it. and it leaves me feeling awesome... and a little sad at the same time. how is it that THIS is what i am thinking about my last night in toronto. who would have thought? not me. alls i know is it was nice. really nice. in a sweeter way than probably most can understand. and im sad to leave things like this. but i know that it wouldnt have happened like it did... if i wasnt leaving. the emotions and the intimacy... wouldnt have happened if we had to deal with the repercussions the next week. and yet... i am a tad bit curious of exactly what those repercussions would have been. but im happy it happened. period. now if only i could kick the little girl inside me that hopes... well, for too much.