don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
dont ask me why im listening to alanis morisette. it just happened ok. like farts and late night drunken poutine runs. no one said i liked it.
what took me so long?
i've never felt this healthy before
i've never wanted something rational
so many unhealthy things are going on. and i don't care. my obsessions are twisted and melded and im not sure what part of me is going which way and why or what. im not sure what my motivation is. and i think im lying to myself. its not just sex. thats the part im scared to admit. its easier if it was just the sex. and i think i was ok with that at first. but now... i think im getting greedy. and i want him to... well, i dont know what i want. why cant i be grown-up about these things? and let them happen... and stop fucking analyzing everything to death.
i dont think i am ever happy with being only one thing for someone. i want to be EVERYTHING for everyone.
no, i want you to want more than remote friendship from me. i want you to regret marrying your wife and come live out our favourite things together. i want you to be inspired by me. we'd live out all those fucking love songs. i swear we would.
i dont want to be your fuck buddy. i want you to want me for more than that. i want you to tell me that im beautiful. that you think im special. your cock cant do that.
see, i dont want either of these two people. at least not in a dating, soulmate kind of way. i just want them to want me that way. and this is where i am like a defected toy. squeeking and jerking around on the floor in retardedness. maybe my batteries are dying... but you changed those already. and im still floundering around, refusing to do anything remotely fun and interesting. so you walk away.
so how about it?
show me please how we'll look in 20 years
and let me please interpret history
in every line and scar that's painted there in front of me
it doesnt matter what im thinking
or what i tell myself to do
i end up calling
dont ask me why im listening to alanis morisette. it just happened ok. like farts and late night drunken poutine runs. no one said i liked it.
what took me so long?
i've never felt this healthy before
i've never wanted something rational
so many unhealthy things are going on. and i don't care. my obsessions are twisted and melded and im not sure what part of me is going which way and why or what. im not sure what my motivation is. and i think im lying to myself. its not just sex. thats the part im scared to admit. its easier if it was just the sex. and i think i was ok with that at first. but now... i think im getting greedy. and i want him to... well, i dont know what i want. why cant i be grown-up about these things? and let them happen... and stop fucking analyzing everything to death.
i dont think i am ever happy with being only one thing for someone. i want to be EVERYTHING for everyone.
no, i want you to want more than remote friendship from me. i want you to regret marrying your wife and come live out our favourite things together. i want you to be inspired by me. we'd live out all those fucking love songs. i swear we would.
i dont want to be your fuck buddy. i want you to want me for more than that. i want you to tell me that im beautiful. that you think im special. your cock cant do that.
see, i dont want either of these two people. at least not in a dating, soulmate kind of way. i just want them to want me that way. and this is where i am like a defected toy. squeeking and jerking around on the floor in retardedness. maybe my batteries are dying... but you changed those already. and im still floundering around, refusing to do anything remotely fun and interesting. so you walk away.
so how about it?
show me please how we'll look in 20 years
and let me please interpret history
in every line and scar that's painted there in front of me
it doesnt matter what im thinking
or what i tell myself to do
i end up calling
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