i almost married your sister, just so we could be closer
- i had a dream in which i was a sword weilding ninja. sans ninja costume. it was kind of like that jet li movie, "hero." it was amazing. if i could have lived in that dream for a little longer... i would have.

- i watched garden state yesterday. and i know that its been said that perhaps its not very original... perhaps its too wrapped up in itself (specifically the main character)... and i know that some scenes could have been better. and i hated the ending. and some of the lines were like ouch. but regardless... the movie had me eating tears through the last half hour. there were some really nice shots and really nice conversations. and some truths. you should see it. and at the part where natalie portman and the guy from scrubs meet... and she tells him she is listening to the shins... what if... what if she had told him she was listening to michael jackson? i think it would have turned out to be a cooler movie altogether. lol.

- whats the deal with movies about the quirky girl saving the boring/lost guy? don't get me wrong, i love the quirky girls... but... i'm not so sure about this new genre. maybe this is my stupid pop culture class talking out my ass... but i'm a little wary about the idea of these seemingly amazing girls just being vessels for the transformation of the main character. anyways.

- did i mention the way i hated the ending?

- i wonder what makes me so restless to change my appearance so constantly. i wonder what drives me to want to dye my hair. tattoo my body. pierce something. and i wonder when this need will stop. if it will stop.

- so its official. i'm selling my body to research. they're going to shoot me up with protein shakes and alcohol. and i'm gonna get paid. sweet sweet money.

- what to do about you... what to do. i'm not sure if i've made things up in my head. i can never figure it out. i'm pretty sure i'm not crazy. you stayed. you waited for me to come. you waited for me. i just don't know... should i go back? is it worth it? will anything be different? do i want it to be? i'm such an over-thinking girl.

- i know what the right answer is. i know what the sane answer is. but if the sane answer just doesn't sit right with me... then maybe its not the right answer. sanity is over-rated. who wants to make the sane decisions? when do the sane decisions ever lead to anything good? and even if my other option... will inevitably drive me crazy later... maybe this is all i have. maybe this is it.

she's the prettiest girl at the wake...