i dreamed about killing you again last night
its sunny and i'd like to pretend its about 25 degrees outside. its not. but it could be. i could put on a skirt and pretend that its summer. i could forget that i have a million things that require my immediate attention.

i'm trying to read through an incredible amount of literature on cindy sherman. i'm searching for a thesis... for something new to say... i'm wondering how she feels about being discussed at such lengths by so many people. i think she hates it. i think she hates what most people write about her. i want to write something she'll like. hell, maybe i'd just like to write something i like.

our dinner party last night was fantastic. everyone dressed up in suits and dresses and i felt like we were 38. the babysitters were at home with the spoiled brats and we were drinking wine and smoking pot. we even had fondue for dessert.

as the guests slowly departed, we were left with mounds of dishes and a bit of a wine buzz. so of course... we settled down with tea and season 2 of seinfeld... i was so content.

to our autumn years.