feeling... feeling?
so just being able to see this boy... this boy singing on stage... see him smile... made me feel a little tingle. you know that tingle. the crush tingle. the "i wonder what his lips feel like" tingle. the "i wonder what his laugh is like" tingle. the impossibly silly daydreamy crazy lovely tingle. i FELT it. and you know what? that tingle... that little bit of REAL crush... of "hey, i could like you... i'm attracted to you... in a way that makes me not just want to bang you"... that feeling was literally enough to wipe away months of confusion with the other boy. the other boy doesn't care about me in the right way. and in all honesty, i never cared for him in the right way either. so the tingle cleansed me. i want to find something real again. this singing boy reminded me that there are nice boys out there... boys that can make me tingle. i am happy to announce that i am not cold-hearted and dead inside. nice boys can be found! i can crush again!!!

and it feels good, let me tell you.