but you didn't wanna play.
holy fuck. its 730 and i'm awake and my belly is already full with cereal. and outside my window, pounds and pounds of snow are going to make my journey to school incredibly long. fuck. why does all the motherfucking snow have to fall on my day of hell... my last exam day... my doubleheader. why? and you know what, i know the whole east coast has to deal with this snow, but i don't care. the whole east coast isn't me. and i am grumpy.

i woke up at 2 am, after having been asleep for half an hour, because my uterus was dying. cramps. i hate them. they were so bad that they woke me. and kept me awake curled in a ball for about half an hour. if the kitchen wasn't so far from my warm bed, i would have grabbed the biggest fucking knife in the house and stabbed my uterus. to kill the mutant ripping at my insides. strange how sometimes my body can feel so... not mine. how i can feel so isolated from its processes. the kicker? no matter how disconnected i am from its functions... its impossible to get away. and this is how my body makes me feel claustrophobic sometimes. now, i'm no carteisan dualist... but, sometimes... sometimes... like it was at 2 am this morning... my body is a prison.

where i belong... where i belong...