a memory.
i was wrong. there are things that i remember. except i can't just call them up on demand... they surprise me when i least expect it. i am full of memories of you... they just hide in all the places i forget to look. i remember that night on your balcony... we went outside to watch the rain. and we kissed. kissed under the rain. and i leaned backwards over the balcony and you pressed up against me. our hair got wet and tangly... we drank each other like raindrops that night. i remember the lightning flashing behind us. i remember it as if i were watching a movie. i can almost see the two of us. wet. kissing. writhing. the storm. i see myself laughing the way i used to laugh when i knew you were staring at me... staring at me the way you used to... in what i can only think do describe as... awe. i miss the way you looked at me like that. no one has looked at me like that since. with the same disbelief.

you had me convinced. convinced that i deserved that awe.