why don't you ladies believe me when i'm screaming?
i always believe you

i stare at this picture of us
it sits on my bedside table
i don't know why
you with your boyish smile
your sneakers and blonde hair
chubby red cheeks and fingers
a face i remember...
but not clear enough.
i can stare into your eyes...
but the recognition i long for...
slips through the air
i sit beside you here
years have gone by since then
my hair is boyish and short
my ears stick out and i look awkward
wearing pink and not smiling
more curious looking than anything else.
i stare into those eyes...
again, a recognition i long for...
but don't have.
a me so young that memory won't let me recall
who i was or why i'm not smiling
my eyes seem unproportionate... too large for my tiny face
my nose sticks up just like it always has
i recognize my features...
they're all where they belong...
but the pieces don't make sense.
you and i
we're so bright
the chair we sit in is large and old
we are small and young
bright to dark
new to old
you so eager and me so odd
i can't recall.
so i keep this by my head
while i sleep
hoping i will remember what it was like to be me sitting beside you that day
hoping you or i can tell me.