early in the morning
rising to the street/light me up that cigarette/and i'll strap shoes on my feet

i don't think you ever really grow up. you just get used to playing grown-up. i mean... when you're young, you wear your parents clothes... fool around with make-up and jewellry and high heels (yes, that would be me... perhaps not all of you)... and you pretend to be big and do grown-up things. i think i remember making a shopping list while dressed as a grown-up. lol. and then you get older and you do things where people expect you to act "big" when you're there. quiet places, visiting, even school. everyone always tells you to act big... or be a big girl (or boy). so you act like a grown-up when it is required. and then you get older... your grown-up act gets refined as more and more acting is necessary. bad things start happening. funerals, real problems, jobs, decisions... so the grown-up act takes over even more of your time. but i still think its a suit that we step into. i think some people forget that. forget that being "grown-up" really is just an act. really is just something we need to do sometimes. i think people get used to playing grown-up and forget what's under their suit. under it all... we're still playing. we're still kids. still wearing the high heels and giggling as we do "grown-up" things. well, i know i am. i don't want to forget. i hope i get to take this grown-up suit off as much as possible. i hope i don't forget that its just a suit. necessary sometimes... yes. but i don't want to become the suit. maybe i'll just make sure my suit stays 10 sizes too big, my shoes stay floppy on my feet, my necklaces dangle to the floor, and 3 shades of lipstick smear my face.

did that make sense to anyone?