(under the influence of rum n cokes...)
i think i've mentioned this before... but i feel the need to mention it again. when in god's name did i enter "womanhood"? seriously guys... what the fuck. when did it become ok for men to tell me that i have sex appeal? when was it not completely creepy for people to tell me that i'm a "beautiful woman"? when did the word "woman" somehow become attached to me... unable to shake off... even.. *gasp* a big part of me. yea, girl was always there... but woman!?!? my god. i'm scared. it seems that i spun around and all of a sudden i had become a woman. there was no right of passage... there was no special ceremony. i wanted one dammit. it seemed i became a woman in everyone else's eyes... and that is how it is judged. once men started looking at me... once people started using the dreaded word around me... then it was decided. i was a woman. but where was my say? where was my special right of passage? it was definitely not my period. that simply happened to my body. i was a girl whose body had suddenly done something womanly. but that was it. it did not change me profoundly. i carried on without almost a second thought to it. i don't know what i'm saying here... but i know that i missed something. and i want it back. i want a fucking "welcome to womanhood" ceremony. i want to dance naked under the moon with other women. lol. i want to know what the hell "womanhood" is. i think that's why lately i've had this undeniable craving for older women friends. i'm sure there's some secret to this woman thing... some vital piece to the puzzle that i'm missing.