starting tomorrow, your balls come off
"i mean, even homework is something id rather do than sit with my friends and discuss the same old. why else would i not go to school this week except in the afternoons to do tests? i dont believe im missing anything, because i know what to expect from my peers, and that is so not a good thing, you know?"
why do i relate so heavily? i stole that quote from a livejournal girl that i stalk. yes, she goes to ward. ahhhhhh i'm a creepy. but anyways... yea. it's true. not that i am tired of my friends... or maybe i am. but not in the cruel way that first comes to mind. i remember a time when i would want to surround myself with them always. i never wanted to miss anything. i would get hurt if they went out without me... but now... nope. i am not terribly bothered by these things anymore. it's true that sometimes it just seems like the same old thing. no one's fault of course. but still, very stale. that explains my choices of late... to not go out when i could... to sit at home and eat instead. lol. it's not the same anymore. i just assumed it was because i had changed. that i had lost that dependence i once had. yes, i am still very much dependent... but it's different. not a constant, validating dependence anymore... i don't need them to define me like i used to. i've learned (or think i have) how to define myself. i'm not the same as i was in grade 10... so why do some of my friendships seem the same?
"i mean, even homework is something id rather do than sit with my friends and discuss the same old. why else would i not go to school this week except in the afternoons to do tests? i dont believe im missing anything, because i know what to expect from my peers, and that is so not a good thing, you know?"
why do i relate so heavily? i stole that quote from a livejournal girl that i stalk. yes, she goes to ward. ahhhhhh i'm a creepy. but anyways... yea. it's true. not that i am tired of my friends... or maybe i am. but not in the cruel way that first comes to mind. i remember a time when i would want to surround myself with them always. i never wanted to miss anything. i would get hurt if they went out without me... but now... nope. i am not terribly bothered by these things anymore. it's true that sometimes it just seems like the same old thing. no one's fault of course. but still, very stale. that explains my choices of late... to not go out when i could... to sit at home and eat instead. lol. it's not the same anymore. i just assumed it was because i had changed. that i had lost that dependence i once had. yes, i am still very much dependent... but it's different. not a constant, validating dependence anymore... i don't need them to define me like i used to. i've learned (or think i have) how to define myself. i'm not the same as i was in grade 10... so why do some of my friendships seem the same?
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