i'm not the one.
so i was sitting on the toilet tonight composing a personal ad in my head... well, not so much a personal ad. i was just thinking about all the things someone should know before jumping on the sam train. the things i wish i could spell out right away. the important bits. and then it hit me... i'm getting old. i'm getting used. i'm getting worn out. i'm like the dirty couch in the corner. the couch that has lumpy spots and springs poking out. with defects caused by wear and tear. i am becoming a woman with a past. with history. its so incredibly strange... to think that new partners will have to deal with all the baggage the old ones have left me with. to realize that i come with so much more baggage than i used to.
please realize, i...
- am the kind of person that... once hooked, will literally give you everything i have. i am the diving deep kind of gal. don't be afraid. please.
- am trying really hard not to play games. i want to call you when i feel like it... i want to tell you how i feel, even if it is too soon... too late... and i want you to do the same.
- need someone who is interested in me. i like to feel someone trying to figure me out... curious about how i work... the things i like... the things i do... the little thoughts i have. i want you to be interested in all the things i think are weird... because i will do the same for you. i will be interested in all your random quirks. i will pry information out of you... i will dissect you and take you apart and put you back together.
- need someone who likes bodies. who likes exploring them. who can laugh at bodies. who can love my body. someone to notice things i have never noticed. someone who is not afraid... and can help me to continue to feel safer in my skin. safer touching the skin of another.
- want someone to make me laugh. to bring out my spontaneous side. someone who will do crazy things with me... who will keep me interested in being with them. someone who will surprise me...
- want someone to teach me. to humble me. to open my eyes.
holy fuck. i am one demanding chica. i guess i am feeling a tad... wistful tonight. you'll have to excuse me.
one more addendum... i do not need all of this now. this is by no means a plea for a boy in my life... these are just thoughts for the future. right now... i need to be with me. i know this. and i like this plan. its pretty much the best one i've had in a while.
so i was sitting on the toilet tonight composing a personal ad in my head... well, not so much a personal ad. i was just thinking about all the things someone should know before jumping on the sam train. the things i wish i could spell out right away. the important bits. and then it hit me... i'm getting old. i'm getting used. i'm getting worn out. i'm like the dirty couch in the corner. the couch that has lumpy spots and springs poking out. with defects caused by wear and tear. i am becoming a woman with a past. with history. its so incredibly strange... to think that new partners will have to deal with all the baggage the old ones have left me with. to realize that i come with so much more baggage than i used to.
please realize, i...
- am the kind of person that... once hooked, will literally give you everything i have. i am the diving deep kind of gal. don't be afraid. please.
- am trying really hard not to play games. i want to call you when i feel like it... i want to tell you how i feel, even if it is too soon... too late... and i want you to do the same.
- need someone who is interested in me. i like to feel someone trying to figure me out... curious about how i work... the things i like... the things i do... the little thoughts i have. i want you to be interested in all the things i think are weird... because i will do the same for you. i will be interested in all your random quirks. i will pry information out of you... i will dissect you and take you apart and put you back together.
- need someone who likes bodies. who likes exploring them. who can laugh at bodies. who can love my body. someone to notice things i have never noticed. someone who is not afraid... and can help me to continue to feel safer in my skin. safer touching the skin of another.
- want someone to make me laugh. to bring out my spontaneous side. someone who will do crazy things with me... who will keep me interested in being with them. someone who will surprise me...
- want someone to teach me. to humble me. to open my eyes.
holy fuck. i am one demanding chica. i guess i am feeling a tad... wistful tonight. you'll have to excuse me.
one more addendum... i do not need all of this now. this is by no means a plea for a boy in my life... these are just thoughts for the future. right now... i need to be with me. i know this. and i like this plan. its pretty much the best one i've had in a while.
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