just drums.
i think we are entering a dangerous place. a place that is starting to get to me. it is not as great as the other place. in this place, i can see past you. there are some big problems with us. or rather, some big problems that i am finding with you. you can't comfort me when i'm feeling insecure. you never say the right things when i am feeling uninteresting, boring, or uninspiring. i am starting to listen closely and only hear "you're so beautiful" and "i want to fuck you." i don't know if you have ever told me that i'm funny... or interesting. i'm sure you think it... but i'm starting to feel like i fulfill one thing for you... and really, i don't think you need me to be interesting. you have music for that. maybe its getting to me. you aren't all the things i thought you were at first. you can be really cold and then laugh about it... some things you say sound so different to both of us.

i wonder what it is about me. that tells me to pull people closer when i start to feel like i don't want them near me anymore. its like instead of dealing with my disillusionment... my... inevitable falling from being enamoured to being so-so... i just pull the person closer to me and feel like THEY aren't holding ME tight enough. does this make sense? like... i don't really know if i want to be holding them at all... but that feeling usually has me squeezing them and wondering why they aren't as enamoured as i'm pretending to be.