written in english class... pretty stream of conscious. no edit.

don't use me like a blankie
folding my soft flesh around your naked limbs
my crevices are all warm
i know.
but i can't help that
i never thought i'd be something safe.

you snuggle in too deep
slumbering lazily in my arms
i can't help that i'm so easy
i wrap and mold

hammock swinging between trees
bodies intertwined in its soft shell
"i want one of those," you whispered

i laughed nervously as you nestled into me
what made me so safe?

i so easily give. when you are well rested will you leave me?
play the game.
wait three days.
don't call.
don't call.
screen.
make him face the answering machine.
keep him guessing.
strangle it out of him.

i let it go...
give it all too soon.
i don't know any other way you see.

i comfort in my honesty.

i'd like to believe that
& not in my simplicity. in what i lack.

i read about the girls
the free spirits
floating along with the breeze
with their madness.
their messes.
the complicated ones.

refusing to settle
to be tied down.

i smoke like them.

i feel your hair with the tips of my fingers
wondering when
i became so consumed

those girls were my role models
you see
(they don't exist)

i should be like them
i rock gently
wondering when i became so grounded

is this stability
my happiness? or my death?

you say i scare you.
i wonder why i'm so safe.